Does Therapy Make Matters Worse? Exploring the Benefits and Challenges of Counselling
Therapy is often recommended as a pathway toward healing, self-discovery, and improved mental health. But for some, the journey isn’t always smooth. There’s a lingering question that some people wrestle with: Can therapy actually make things worse? Whether you’re considering therapy for the first time or have been in counselling for a while, it’s essential to understand both the potential benefits and challenges therapy may present.
The Short Answer: Therapy Isn’t a Magic Fix
Therapy isn’t a quick fix or an instant cure. Like any meaningful process of change, it can be uncomfortable, difficult, and even emotionally painful at times. Sometimes, things might feel worse before they get better. But does that mean therapy is harmful? Let’s explore why therapy can sometimes feel challenging and why that discomfort can often be a part of the healing process.
Why Therapy Can Feel Worse at First
Uncovering Hidden Emotions
Therapy involves deep introspection and confronting parts of ourselves that we might have buried or ignored. These repressed feelings—whether they're about past trauma, relationship issues, or internal struggles—often resurface during sessions. As a result, therapy can initially bring up emotions like sadness, anger, or anxiety, making it feel like things are getting worse.Facing Difficult Truths
A significant part of therapy involves gaining self-awareness. This means confronting truths about ourselves, our behaviours, and the people around us. Sometimes, the realisation that we've been avoiding or contributing to our own problems can be hard to accept. Coming to terms with these truths can lead to temporary discomfort, but this is often the first step toward lasting change.Challenging Old Patterns
Therapy encourages you to break old, unhelpful habits and thought patterns. This process can be difficult because it requires rewiring how we react to situations and people. While growth is the goal, it’s natural to feel unsettled as you leave behind familiar coping mechanisms—especially if they’ve been a part of your life for a long time.
When Therapy Might Actually Feel Counterproductive
While temporary discomfort is common in therapy, there are situations where it might feel genuinely unhelpful, or even counterproductive. Here are a few reasons why:
Mismatch with the Therapist
The therapeutic relationship is critical to the healing process. If you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist or if their approach doesn’t resonate with you, therapy may feel frustrating or ineffective. It’s essential to find a therapist you connect with and whose style aligns with your needs.Pacing Issues
Therapy should progress at a pace that feels right for you. If a therapist pushes you too quickly into exploring deep issues without adequate support, it can feel overwhelming. Conversely, moving too slowly might lead to frustration, as you may feel you're not making progress. Open communication about pacing can help ensure the process feels balanced.Lack of Clear Goals
If therapy sessions feel unfocused or directionless, it may seem like you're not making progress. Without clear goals or a roadmap, it can feel like you’re going in circles, rehashing the same problems without finding solutions. A good therapist will help to open the dialogue and set realistic, actionable goals to measure your progress and keep things on track.Reopening Old Wounds Without Closure
Therapy can sometimes stir up past trauma or unresolved issues. While it’s essential to address these painful areas, the therapist’s job is to help you process and heal—not leave you stuck in the pain. If you feel your sessions are reopening emotional wounds without offering closure, it’s important to voice these concerns to your therapist.
When Discomfort Leads to Growth
Just because therapy feels difficult doesn’t mean it’s not working. Growth often requires us to step outside our comfort zones and confront uncomfortable truths. Here’s why the initial discomfort in therapy can lead to long-term benefits:
Healing Through Emotional Release
The difficult emotions that arise during therapy can be a sign of healing. You’re finally allowing yourself to feel emotions you’ve suppressed for so long. By acknowledging these feelings, you begin the process of emotional release, which can be incredibly liberating.Building Emotional Resilience
Therapy teaches you how to manage distressing emotions in a healthy way. Even when it feels challenging, the process of working through pain helps build emotional resilience. Over time, this makes you more equipped to handle life’s stressors and setbacks with confidence.Shifting Perspective
While the early stages of therapy might feel disorienting, it's often because your perspective on life is shifting. As you gain new insights and learn healthier coping mechanisms, you’ll start to see improvements in how you relate to yourself and others.Strengthening Relationships
Although addressing relationship problems in therapy might initially create more tension, it can also lead to more honest, open communication. Therapy helps you set boundaries, express your needs, and develop stronger, healthier relationships.
How to Know If Therapy Is Truly Making Things Worse
While discomfort is part of the process, you should never feel as though therapy is causing harm or making your mental health significantly worse over the long term. Here are some signs that therapy may not be serving you:
Increased Anxiety or Depression Over Time: If your symptoms are worsening with no signs of improvement, this could be a red flag.
Feeling Invalidated or Unheard: If your therapist is dismissive of your feelings or not attuned to your concerns, therapy might not be the best fit.
A Decline in Daily Functioning: Therapy should improve your ability to function in daily life, not impair it. If you find it harder to manage responsibilities, relationships, or work because of therapy, it’s worth reevaluating.
Lack of Progress: If you’ve been in therapy for an extended period without making progress, it might be time to discuss changing the approach or consider another therapist.
Conclusion: Therapy Is a Journey, Not a Destination
Therapy can be a powerful tool for healing, growth, and self-discovery, but it isn’t always a smooth road. While it’s normal to experience some discomfort, prolonged distress should be addressed with your therapist. The key to successful therapy is finding the right fit with a therapist, being open to the process, and allowing yourself the time and space to heal.
Ultimately, while therapy can feel challenging, it’s designed to help you create lasting change, not to make matters worse. If you feel uncertain about your progress or emotional state during therapy, don’t hesitate to have an open discussion with your therapist. Together, you can find the right path forward toward a healthier, happier you.